"What can men do against such reckless hate?"

I know, I know; I’m repurposing a quote from Lord of the Rings to make a silly point about the silly internets…but it’s a quote that’s run through my head repeatedly the last few weeks as I read interactions on Twitter and Facebook related to the tragic (the Aurora situation) and the trivial (disputes over who said what) goings-on in the world, and I can’t help but wonder what is accomplished by all this vitriol in our day-to-day lives. Anger, spite, and insults seem to fuel us lately, both on the internet and in real life. But at what cost? I’m sure I share the same feelings about what happened in Colorado last week as many others (kind of a sick disgust at the actions of one unbalanced person), but the reaction on Twitter was somewhat surprising. It’s become ever clearer that there are some UGLY people on there, and more unfortunately, the uglier and more “shocking” you are, the more likely you are to gain followers and RTs.


Some douche canoes said the victims were to blame, and at least one sent vulgar tweets to the account of one of the women who lost her life that day. Why? To garner some sick following of people who think in the same twisted vein? This isn’t a commentary on gun control, or even a post dedicated to what happened that day; I’m addressing those who thought it appropriate to come out the next morning, guns a-blazin’ (pardon the pun), to scream and holler about gun control laws (either for or against). Could we maybe just give the rhetoric a rest so that the families of the victims and those injured can take some time to recover? I was horrified by it because I have family in Aurora, and my baby sister lives in Denver. I knew none of them would have been at the theater that night, but thinking of what could have happened was enough to give me pause. Do these people not have anyone in their lives that they care about enough to just take a breath and be thankful they’re still around? C’mon, guys…let’s get some perspective, here.

In another example of rampant Twitter ugliness, I read an assault of sorts on a comedian/host/podcaster/all-around-cool-dude (“Mr. Awesome,” as he’ll be referred to later) that just…made me sad. I could have thrown myself into the fray, but that would have only directed the abuse my way and done nothing to help the discussion. I know myself well enough to say that I’d, well, take it poorly. It all happened because someone said something (in jest, methinks) about something Mr. Awesome did; some other dude took it the wrong way, and that started an avalanche of hate toward Mr. Awesome that extended to the point of threatening his life/wellbeing, and that of his followers. Now, we all know this is “just the internet” and “just words,” but at what point should we start to take these anonymous threats seriously? There are a great many profiles on Twitter that completely mask the identity of the person (sad-sack, as I like to say) writing the tweets; who’s to say this person won’t someday act on the violent threats they make? The power of anonymity has been discussed ad nauseam, so there’s not much point in going into it here. Needless to say, I read interactions like this and just feel sad for humanity. It makes me wish it was possible to actually leave the planet and live somewhere else entirely. Perhaps a place populated by kittens and puppies, with unlimited tasty beverages. I digress.

Hoping for a more peaceful online experience is a pipe-dream, I know. Even on Facebook, where there is far less anonymity, people are ugly to each other. I’ve done it; we probably all have. It’s so much easier to say something cruel/rude/critical to someone when you aren’t face-to-face, but what if we all just worked on squelching that ugly side a little more? I try to limit what I say online to what I’d say to that person’s face; if I think their feelings would be hurt, I zip it. More than that, I’ve been trying harder to see the good in people, and not engaging when others start to come down on someone who isn’t able to defend him- or herself; it’s a struggle, but when I am able to rise above the yuck, I can tell I walk a little lighter afterward. It feels good to not be a dick, but sometimes it takes more effort than I thought it would. There’s enough ugliness and hate and distrust in the world…I want my little corner of it to have some semblance of peace and respect.

Even in the real world people are getting dickier (is that even a word? It is now…). I work in a place driven by teasing and name-calling, I know people who make a practice of calling others out for making common grammatical mistakes (using ‘good’ instead of ‘well,’ not using an Oxford comma, etc), and so many people try to cram you into a shell where they think you belong (“She’s the actress.” “He’s the smart one.” “You’re the laid back one.”). It’s getting ridiculous. At work, I don’t really engage when the teasing and name-calling starts; does that make me a killjoy? In their eyes, the answer is probably yes. When my husband and I are hanging out alone, I have a bad habit of correcting him (when he uses a word incorrectly, for example); however, I would never do that in front of other people because it’s disrespectful and rude. As for plopping people into shells? Well, we all do it, whether we intend to or not. I just try it acknowledge that and then ignore my presumptions. Try it; you’ll be surprised how much more people have to offer when given the chance to shine.

One of my good friends is all about love; romantic, platonic, the love you have for a pet, a love of cooking or crafting or creating, ALL types of love...she wants to celebrate it and embrace it and talk about it. I think she’s onto something. Isn’t it more refreshing to have a positive, laughter-filled talk with your friends rather than a vile, poison-filled diatribe against someone who isn’t living up to your standards? Or how about having an open, intelligent discussion about political views rather than stooping to the finger-pointing blame game? How about we try a little harder not to put people into whatever box we think they should go in, and let them be whoever they are? Gah, I feel like I’m writing a commercial for tampons or something, but I think you’re picking up what I’m laying down. We all want to be happy, right? Negativity and hate won’t get us there.

Thank you for reading my late-night ramblings…I figured I’d do something useful with my insomnia rather than just lay in bed, listening to my dogs snore.